| I have forgotten you for some time now... and in that time a lot has happened. Things I would have never expected. I never thought that I would be part of a few of the statistics I am now a part of. I never thought I would think about leaving school. I never thought they would call me names. I never thought I would be in that position. I never thought it would be me. BUT life is great now. It is absolutely fantastic. |
| |
| how incredibly frustrating the past several weeks have been. I want straight answers. Really, that's all I want. Honesty... Is that so much to ask? This is tearing me to shreds. |
| |
| WHY IN THE HELL DO PEOPLE MAKE THINGS SO OVERCOMPLICATED!!!!????!!!!? is life really all that much of a mess? I have a male friend I've been spending time with. We cuddle. We've napped together. He has spent the night in my room three times. I've seen him in his boxers. BIG DEAL!!!!!!! WE ARE NOT having sex. We have had nothing other than a plutonic relationship. I'm not ruining any sort of other relationship. NOTHING IS GOING ON!!! If it were, the world would openly know about it. Just ask, I'll give you the truth. DO NOT spread malicious rumors about me to the rest of my co-workers and residents. DO NOT think that I am a whore for being openly comfortable with another human being. DO NOT judge the fact that I am needy and I like having contact with others, even if it is a hug or cuddle. GUH!!!!!! PEOPLE SUCK! yes! we hang out late at night, but neither of us have any other time. We're music students! There is no time for any sort of normalcy. gurrrrumph. goodnight! |
| |
| Some men are down right pigs. Some men cheat on their girlfriend the entire two years they are together. Some act kindly toward women because they want in their pants. Some of them are rude enough to make bets on the female they are after. A prime example is my ex whom I recently found is going around making bets with people that he can get back with me after having taken advantage of me and cheated on me. That is a bet that indeed was lost from the start. Why can't I find someone who will just be a gentleman? Someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated? Is that a lost kind? Is that too much to ask? I guess I just don't get it. |
| |
| Time has been flying away from me. I'm busier than ever, but happy as well. I've made a wonderful new friend, his name is Randy. He has quickly become my best friend her at WIU...and just in general. In fact, we're currently looking for a house for next year. I couldn't be more excited. His fiance Sarah is probably going to be staying with us most of the time too... Randy has helped me figure out who I am... a question I've been trying to answer for some time. He's also helped me work out all of the David issues. Honestly, it feels like David and I never really were together. The more I think about it, the more realistic that actually was. He was with someone else the entire time...two years, wasted loving someone who didn't really give a damn in return. Seeing him every day has been difficult for me. Having him text/call me then first month of school was obnoxious and made me feel terrible. I've corrected that problem though and now he won't even look directly at me. Anyway, I'm lonely. I really don't do well with being single. But it is best to stay single for right now...at least until I know better who I am. I am incredible lonely though. : ( But at least I have a friend to keep me company. OH YEAH, to update from last post, surgery went well and I can eat EVERYTHING again! YAY!!!!!!! (on the downside, I've gained back all of the weight I lost) Time for bed. |
| |
